just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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