My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
