i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
