What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
