Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize