Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
