I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
