do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
