dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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