Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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