Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
operation have a gay friend backfired
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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