So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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