It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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