OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
