Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My penis needs a shock collar
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Enjoy the penises
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
