Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
