hotel room ftw
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
