When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
