She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
