dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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