i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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