so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
