I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
