Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
