its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
