Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
