Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
