if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
