Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
