Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
