For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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