the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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