my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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