I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
