my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
