Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
