This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
