He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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