you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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