it was like his penis was on wheels.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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