If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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