:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
