so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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