There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
high people should be assigned attendants
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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