i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize