woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
