thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize