i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
