I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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