im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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