it's like iHOP with fire
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
