This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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