Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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