You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How naked do you want me to be?
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