what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
