I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
