belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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