if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
